(click the picture above for
the mp3 and click the YouTube
embed below for the video)
Entry
#72
Well
it took nearly 7 months - but we finally
got our wish. An arrogant young man,
certain he could pull off a stunt - and
puking his brains out. I mean - jesus,
listen to what this man did to his
body.
He
comes in with 7 tacos from Taco Bell and
tries to eat them in 3 minutes. Not
happenin'. I'm surprised he even got them
all in his mouth, but there was no way he
was swallowing it. I think he
finished them in about 6 or 7
minutes.
Determined
to not end the night a failure... he goes
home and gets a gallon of milk and comes
back the same NIGHT. It's the old "Can
I drink a gallon of milk in under an
hour" routine.
For
those of you who don't know - you can't.
Not without puking. Something about how it
expands in your stomach - some physics
shit or what not - but it can't be done.
It's the greatest bar bet ever invented
because every staggering bravado filled
young man knows he can do it. Well,
welcome to The Late Show Bar, may I have
your order?
So
Jimbo has it all planned out. Since lotsa
money is changing hands here we decide to
write up a contract and sign it. I of
course realize that it's a complete waste
of time because he's already lost $50
before he even started. I like bets like
these.
What
kills me, is he actually believed
that there was a possiblity to drink that
bitch in 15 minutes. HAHAHA. And these
were his guidelines!
No
matter what if he drank it and didn't puke
in 45 minutes he won the tickets. If it
took him all 45 minutes however he lost
$50 but still got the tickets (that were
much more than that, so he still would
make out). I just shook my head as I
took his money. At least I wasn't getting
ice cold water dumped on me this time. BTW
- not sure why we say the numbers wrong on
the air... but this was the
agreement.
Oh it was all
smiles as we started off boy. He had no doubts. Quick
aside, I'll have you notice the sign on the board that
tells people to contact me if there are any discreps.
(sigh) Shit that isn't even my fault (like a DJ not
doing his fucking production work) gets me a call in
the middle of the night. Nothing better than getting
that call, and then it being the
ACTUAL DJ CALLING ME'S ERROR. Fuck
me. But that was Andyman's reasoning for not giving me
a raise so I had to write that on the board just
to show I was responsible. ANYWAY...
He was
just so proud of himself. That's what I
love. He's like "Halfway through in 5
minutes beyotch!" Well, he didn't actually
say that but his face sure is.
Then,
almost like clockwork - it became a little
harder. Suddenly - he wasn't so happy.
Seems ol' Jimbo was getting a physics
lesson today boys and girls.
It started as sort
of a low rumbling, but he knew right away - he had
lost $50 and was not going to be seeing Brian Setzer
nor Bob Dylan.
It came fast, it
came hard, and the embarrassment of being a 2 time
loser on The Late Show meant very little as he was
doubled over in agony. The Agony of
De-stomach.
You gotta love the
man for trying. And believe it or not...he tried
again. I shit you not. Keep reading...
