Man, 10 entries in
one month. That's happened ONCE since April of 2000!
What a crazy month. Goddamn I thought I was going to
Aspen. Anyway, I digress...
On January 2nd,
2001, my one year anniversary, I wrote this about what
I wanted to accomplish in 2001:
I guess I can
narrow it all down to this: direction. That's what
I hope to have by 2002. A clear path... ...if
someone saw 4tvs and wanted to produce a TV show
around it, I'd have no problem dropping most
everything and following that. I feel I've shown my
everything, and continue to show it with 4tvs - so
wherever it takes me, I'll follow. So that's my
goal - true direction. It could happen in a month,
or I could be typing the same thing years from now.
Amazingly, it was
EXACTLY one month later that I achieved that. February
2nd, the lunch with Charlotte, the direction found:
North. A one-man show, The Aspen Comedy Festival, and
a television show. How absolutely uncanny for my wish
to be granted so quickly. Now of course my
expectations are so high, I can barely "think" them
without laughing at myself. I will get into what I
hope to accomplish in 2002 with my 2 year anniversary
entry on Wednesday, but I just have to take a moment
and try to put into perspective what a pivitol year
this was.
I have already
made it further than the majority of people who come
out to LA following their dreams can ever hope.
Seriously. Millions of people, and where I stand right
now is beyond most of them. That's a two-fold comment
of course. It shows there's a lot of clueless people
out here who have the work-ethic of a... well of an
actor. LOL. Just kidding fellow actors, but you know
what I mean. If you're offended by that comment - I'm
not talking about you. So many people come out here
and are gone within a year. I beat those bitches a
year ago. Another group barely hold on for 2 years. Of
course the biggie is simply having representation. Not
an agent mind you, but true long-term representation.
That is what I feel puts me in the minority of
entertainers in this city. That along with an act that
is so far removed from the everyday performer that it
demands attention. All of this, everything I've
described, has happened in 2001.
It's scary to
think what I'll be writing in a year. If "The
Journey" were scripted, 2002 is my 3rd act. 2000:
The Struggle, 2001: The Break, 2002: The Success. Of
course that's a cycle that will continue for the rest
of my life. No matter what level I'm on, there will be
new challenges that will contain a struggle, break,
and success - but will it ever be as dramatic? I can't
imagine. Look at it this way:
Aspen was a
monumental letdown. Anyone following The Journey in
2001, felt the pain in Entry #157. Well at the
beginning of the year, it wasn't even a
consideration...now NOT getting it is a HUGE
disappointment. Easily the biggest CRASH in the entire
2 year history of "The Journey". So my GOD, what will
the expectations be NEXT year?
Unthinkable.
And that's what
2001 was all about. A shakedown of self-awareness. A
true microscope on my talents, and my ability to be
successful in this world. And with the experience of
Charlotte, I was able to see just how high those
expectations should be: and it's FUCKIN' high. In
2001, I looked at the rest of the world and laughed
saying: "Wait'll they get a load of me". And when
Aspen was so short-sighted about their "theme" that
they passed on "The Trinitrons" our reaction is an
adament: "You blind MO-FOS, you're gonna be kickin'
yourselves in a matter of months." Of course, at the
time, you could barely scrape me off the floor of
depression, but in true 2001 fashion - arrogance won
out.
And yes, I, am,
arrogant. I am the best, I am the shit, I am the
MONEY, get out of my way - or join the ship. Chest
thumping, dick wagging, swaggerific Adam Kontras. LOL.
Now you all know that's not EXACTLY true. I'm still
oversensitve to a fault, and I'm certainly not
egotistical about me as a person...but when it comes
to my act, my project - back da fuck up. Ha! At some
point you just gotta let go of all the politeness. I
am still completely humbled when people agree with me
though. I'll say that in defense of me. When people
say they like the show, I'm not thinking: "You're damn
straight you like it - I RULE!", I am actually
sincerely grateful and so thankful for the comment. So
I guess I'm not THAT arrogant. Heh.
I guess the best
barometer for 2001 would be the stories that
DIDN'T get their own entry, compared to what did
in 2000. LOL!
In 2000, seeing
some blinking lights on a mountain (that Jess and
I thought was a UFO), was cause for an entry
AND video.
In 2001,
Eddie Griffin doing 5 minutes on 4tvs at The
Comedy Store garners a PARAGRAPH.
In 2000,
defrosting my refrigerator actually got a full
entry and VIDEO.
In 2001,
Bobcat's booking agent wanting me to tour
California with Bobcat, gets a few
sentences.
LOL. It really is
a head-shaker. And more than anything, 2001 has made
the wait for 2002 UNEARABLE. Un EAR able? Yeah, it's
like Van Goh and shit,
MUST RID MYSELF OF EARS.
Unbearable. Heh. You can feel the anticipation, you
can sense the intensity, and the build-up is truly
unprecedented.
And so
we come to the year-end
video
that again took so many hours, I dare not
count. I think I've watched this baby
over a dozen times. First off,
I LOVE THE GLADIATOR SONG.
I tried using a different song for
this year, but in the end - nothing comes
close. What's amazing about it is that the
music fits happy AND sad. The exact
same measure can feel both ways depending
on the visual. That's amazing. I'm not
sure I've ever noticed that about any
other piece of music...then again have I
ever tried to? Either way, the interesting
bit about the video will easily be the
placement of the climax. In 2000, it was
the death of my grandmother. That event
shook me so hard that it sadly even
overshadowed my wedding. Of course this
year we were all shocked at the horror
that was 9/11...but that is not the climax
of the video. Aspen is...
...and it has to
be. Aspen was the build-up of the entire year. Every
movement I made after February 2nd, 2001 was a
movement closer to Aspen...so I thought. So when
I got that final phone call - it absolutely devastated
me. Yes, even more than 9/11 did. I hope that
gives some insight on just how much that kicked my
ass. I was so sure people. So sure. And you
better believe that scares me. It shook every ounce of
faith in myself to the core. That faith has been built
back up quite a bit - but you better believe Aspen
will be in the back of my mind for a looooooooong
time.
Alright, I HAVE to
end the second act already!!! I can't bear it anymore!
WHAT HAPPENS IN ACT THREE?!
