UGH. I hate this
fuckin' journal sometimes. I feel I've put so much
into the last 20 months, that I owe it to the
entity that is "The Journey" - to keep you abreast of
all the shit that goes on. I just DONT want to accept
this...
J-Dog
was last seen Sunday evening around 7 PM.
Not sure if I've made it completely clear
before, but J-Dog and Bob actually travel
around the complex here at Magnolia
Apartments. They've become everyone's
adopted friends.
J-Dog was always
an indoor/outdoor cat - and has been in heaven all
year. He and Bob are on a great routine of waking up
around 11 am, going out for about 90 minutes....then
sleeping until 6 PM...going out for about 2 or 3
hours, and coming in for the night around 9 PM. It's a
consistent cycle. One time he didn't make it back in,
and I got up at the crack of dawn and went out
back...called his name and he came running. That was
as long as he's ever been gone. So there's definitely
a problem.
The kicker, and
this is where it gets really depresing, is you can't
keep this cat inside for nothing. He will annoy the
living HELL out of you. People have taken him
into their apartments and within 15 minutes he's at
the door wanting to go home. As well, he's got a
harness (that he can't get out of) he wears 24-7 with
his name, phone number and website. So he can't really
be mistaken for a stray.
Because it's been
so long, he's either dead or been taken incredibly far
away. Well, I THOUGHT those were the only
options. My friend Greg decided for some reason to
tell me about the "B-Traders" in LA - that find cats
and sell them to laboratories around town. Even
supplied me with links to sites with pictures and
everything. For fucking crying out loud. As if
thinking of him hit by a car wasn't bad enough - now I
have to picture him being tortured in a lab for the
rest of his life. All this did was just make me sick
to my stomach since J-Dog is about the friendliest
creature on the planet. And it's been so long... It's
not like he's never been outside and got spooked and
ran away - he KNOWS where he is, he knows how to get
home - and the only reason he isn't home is because he
CAN'T get here. I can only pray that someone
IS keeping him and finally lets him go so he can
come back. Hell, at this point I'd be able to deal
with J-Dog being hit by a car because at least it's
instant. But man - he's so deathly afraid of cars...he
didn't get hit. He was taken. (sigh)
And poor Bob. At
first I thought Jess was just imagining things, but
yeah, Bob is pretty depressed. He won't go outside at
all, his early "Silent Bob" moniker is definitely out
the window as he cries quite often around the house.
He's not playful anymore...he just SLEEPS. He
certainly knows something is wrong. It's so
heartbreaking watching him be sad. I mean he followed
J around constantly. Ate when J ate, slept when J
slept - it's like he's off-balance.
It really is the
price you pay when you have a pet such as J-Dog. He's
SUCH a free spirit. I mean, how many pets you know
would have the wherewithall to realize that the
complex (which is quite big) isn't "really"
outside... I mean Bob is so content with the
little areas of grass, and the pool - and having
people pet him. Not J-Dog. Muh-fucka RUNS to the
outside gate and waits until someone opens the door.
Then runs around in the "real" outside...then comes
back and waits to be let back in. As if he knows that
the complex isn't really outside. Heh. I've said for
many years that his days were numbered, and that he
wouldn't live a "normal pet" lifespan. He just
wasn't normal. Dawg has his own WEBSITE for
cryin' out loud.
But it doesn't
make it any easier. Hell I got J-Dog before
I was married to Burgundie. I was 4 months
removed from my TEENS. He's followed me on soooo many
adventures and lived them all with me. As the days
pass...the depression just really starts to set in.
I have the logic to know that he is just a pet,
but am having a "fuck" of a time not just wallowing in
complete sorrow. I feel like I let him down,
by EVER letting him outside where people could
harm him. There was no other way though. I should've
just brought him back to live on some farm back in
Ohio. Man, the fucker who took him and disregarded his
tags should be shot. It feels almost moot to put up
flyers because anyone in their right mind who sees him
with his tags would call...and if someone took his
harness off there were ulterior motives. Fuck. The
mixture of anger and grief just keeps getting worse.
I swear to GOD, if I saw him in the window of
someone else's apartment in this neighborhood -
I would LOSE it. (sigh)...
Oh well, what can
you do. Visits to the pounds around town are
forthcoming, assuming his harnes was taken off and
then he was thrown out of wherever he was taken
to. It's funny,
in my original email to the fellow online supporters
welcoming them to August I said it wsa gonna be a
LOOOONG depressing month. I couldn't have dreamed it
would get so shitty so quick.
