I guess in
the back of my head, as 4tvs first started heading the
way of comedy...that my "music" career was gonna take
a back seat, and eventually fade away. Last night
I truly realized the changing of the guard. My
music career, as I envisioned it, will never be. By
choice of course, I'm chosing to go another route, but
there's no going back.
It doesn't mean my
days as a songwriter are over, or even composing music
at all is over. I can still write for others, and
as I see the reaction to my music score on the
independent film - the idea of that music in a
"commercial" capacity becomes strikingly clear. But
the solo guy who releases his cds, and the personal
music I write will either be no more, or be written
(gulp) for someone else to sing. It's strictly a
financial move. Cashing in on a talent, when my true
calling lies in comedy, or acting. My musical talent
cannot be ignored, and should be pursued financially,
but that certainly isn't what I wanted at 16 or
even at 24.
It all started
with music. My dad was in music, I played piano
and sang...but immediately did funny stuff. It's crazy
I found some old notes I wrote when I was 15
in 1991. I had written a parody song about the
Clarence Thomas Hearings on TV. Talking about how it
was "TV suicide"...some good stuff actually. But
I guess the writing was on the wall. But all I
wanted to do was be a solo artst.
I started
recording with my father my sophomore year in
school...did "Thursday" the exact version on my first
CD. A year later we got some more done, and by
early 1994 I made the insanely embarrasing "Unreal" -
you can check my projects section for all of that.
From that point on, that's what I wanted. By the
time college rolled around, we made "Unrea" into
"Tomorrow" and I sold it in college and got into
radio so I could sneak my songs onto the air. By the
end of my freshman year I was doing so well in radio
that my teacher got recommended me for WTVN and
I got the job at 19. That summer, I started doing
all talk, and making my first CD, and going to school
and losing my mind. By April of 1996 I quit college
and my life changes. The talk show brought out a
million creative juices I never knew I had.
Comedy, adn The Boyles and music, and just EVERYTHING.
I still wanted the record contract but there was
much more.
As that progressed
into my eventual firing of early 1998...the final
piece fell into place: CD101. Doing sound for all the
bands that came into the big room and getting
aggrivated because I wasn't actively pursuing
music. I was releaseing "Hearing My Thoughts",
all a capella, and wanted so badly to perform - then
in November came 4tvs. Originally a tool to push my
music career, it was very apparent by the 2nd day of
shooting (The Rhythm Set) - that it was funny. I soon
wanted to do it all really funny...that along with the
tons of parody songs I did on CD101 - it all fit.
So much so that I was willing to part with the
production company helping me to keep doing the
comedy. God it seems so obvious. Still as I came
to LA, the thought that the original music and me as a
singer would stand out prevailed...but then something
strange happened.
The
productive-creative part of me really shined in 2000.
Just that I wanted to do so much, and COULD...that it
became apparent to me that a record contract would
SUCK. It would limit me. Still the dream lived on that
I could do both.
Last night,
Charlotte and I had a meeting trying to lock down the
framework for "The Trinitrons" I began playing
Charlotte all my music. Her first reaction was: "Why
haven't you followed this before?" I explained the
evolution and she made it very clear that I should
push this as a "writer". Even the a capella songs on
commercials (kind of the way Moby has) seemed obvious
to her.
The
reaction to my music as a score for "Pep
Talk" has been overwhelmingly positive as
has the reaction to it for "Bitches"
(thus
this entry's video
clip).
It's obvious there's a freshness to it
that works in quirky "not-so-mainstream"
avenues, which ad agencies may really,
really want. The ballads and serious music
being written for other artists. It's at
this point that it all kind of became
clear. That would be the ONLY way for
me to continue musically - especially with
how 4tvs and The Trinitrons is shaping up.
My musical career will be behind the
scenes. Now, and especially later if I
become known as "funny" first. And that is
a foregone conclusion now.
So I guess it's
been obvious to many of you, but you gotta understand
that in the past 24 hours, it's as if everything I've
been for 10 years has just been knocked down a few
notches. The tough part is I still stronlgy feel
I could make it in the music business as a
singer/songwriter, but I would have to totally
ignore the creative side that involves so much more
than music. And I simply cannot and will not do
that. I am much more fulfilled creatively when the art
involves EVERYTHING. I've known this for quite some
time, and finally last night I realized that
I have now chosen, and there's really no turning
back. There's no reason to turn back...this is
right.
As well Charlotte
explained to both Jess and I a bit more about the
money aspect of everything, and how it all works -
what to expect. It's truly inconceivable to me right
now, and I cannot think of it without getting
knots in my stomach. The smallest amounts of money
would mean the world to Jess and I right now, and
what's being talked about here is not small.
I guess in the TV world it's small, but nowhere
else is it. And the most exciting part is my
competition, and what the studio execs are looking
for. "The Trinitrons" as it's being written, will
completely put me head and shoulders above the rest of
the pack. It shows so much, and is so unique....whew.
As I've said before, for the first time in my life -
my success doesn't rely on votes, or ratings, or
record sales, or luck (not that much anyway), or
praying the right person walks in, or hoping...We KNOW
the audience, we KNOW what they want, we
KNOW how to write the show to their
specifications, and we have the tool of 4tvs that no
one in the world has which can pull it all off in a
completely MIND BLOWING manner.
Evolutionary
Extinction. It was bound to happen. But christ, can
you imagine someone else singing
"Sleep,
Baby
Sleep"?
Man, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to handle that.
Then again, I'll always have the original memoriesn
and song...and I'd love for the world to sing that
song to their children. Even if they think it's
someone else's song. (sigh)
Ya can't win 'em
all. You always have to sacrifice to move ahead. Those
who don't...stay in one place forever, and I've come
way too far for that now.
Hmmm, I bet I
could write a song about that...LOL.
