That's the only
good thing I can take from all this. There was
true drama in the last 2 entries. You ALLLLL believed
I had this puppy. And that's EXACTLY how I felt.
So give a point to "The Journey" for doin' its
job.
They're
looking for someone younger. I assume that
20 would be the MAX. And whereas I can
"look" younger, I just don't "act" that
young when I'm being myself. Imagine a kid
who's 17, 18 NOW. Hell my little brother
is closer to that age than I am.
MUCH closer. So I honestly, DON'T
feel that bad. Seriously, I kicked ASS at
the audition - made a good impression,
they just want younger. Giddy-up, move on.
It's a whole lot easier to move on, when
there are 2 beautiful homosexual lovers
waiting for you at home.
Payin' attention?
Heh...
But damnit, didn't
you all really believe it - just for a second? Didn't
you guys close the browser to that entry thinking:
"Yeah, he's gettin' THAT". Well welcome to my world. I
have a feeling, it's gonna pretty much desensitize me
after awhile. I'll stop really believing so strong -
and if I ever do book something it'll shock the
ever-lovin' hell out of me. At least that's what I
hope will happen. Unfortunately, I see these
moments as being pretty strung out, leaving me just
enough time to stress about each and every one of 'em.
But rest assured, unless the part seems PERFECT, I
ain't gonna drag it into "The Journey" much more than
a paragraph. I don't want each entry to become a
string of auditions. Nothing could be more boring than
that. I should expect to go on dozens and dozens
of audtions without a dime to show for 'em. That's the
life of an actor. (sigh). You already know exactly
what I'm about to say, so I'll just move on.
LOLOL.
Now, to what many
of you have been asking for the past few days -
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH YOU AND CHARLOTTE?!?!"
LOL. Yeah, it's pretty strange ain't it. It really hit
me when I called her after the audition yesterday to
tell her how it went. We're all happy and shit on the
phone. I mean, 4 weeks ago, we couldn't sit in the
same friggin' restaurant without one of us walking out
(me). And now it's nothin' but smiles, if for just 4
minutes and 27 seconds. So surreal. I've drawn a
pretty funny comparison:
You get a divorce,
then 4 weeks after it's final, you find out she's
pregnant. Throws quite wrench into things. Now if she
miscarries, well - you go back to where you were
before, but if she actually has it - who KNOWS what
will happen.
In this case,
there was a miscarriage. On pretty much the last thing
Charlotte submitted me for, it seemed we had
something, and then it fell through - so we're right
back to where we were to begin with...or are we? I'll
say that the time away has been helpful to both of us.
it's allowed us to be able to talk civilly and find
that there is still a core of "goodness" in our
relationship. But she's still not my manager, and I'm
still not her client. We've decided that we're gonna
do our own thing for 3 or 4 months and then see where
we are. There's still fundamental problems between us
and we both know it. We're very, very drained. My gut
tells me, that the fact that we're still on speaking
terms after ALL THIS SHIT, shows that I'll
probably be involved with Charlotte in one way or the
other for a very long time. Even if it's NEVER a
manager/client relationship, there will be contact.
The best part of that is ther eis no "conclusion" to
"The Trinitrons". Our effort has not been a failure,
it's just gonna take some time. Somehow, someway -
that friggin' 30 minutes is gonna make a
BIG difference in both of our lives. By not
completely disolving our relationship, we've kept that
a possibility. Very strange, but so is
Hollywood.
So there's not a
whole helluva lot to say now. Still looking for my 2
minute comedy monologue for tomorrow, that should be
interesting. And it's certainly not lost on me that
we're inching closer and closer to Entry #200. (sigh).
You just know it's gonna suck. LOL. The chances of it
being worthy news for such a monumental entry are slim
to none...but you never know. At least it's something
to look forward to. And that alone is what will keep
me going.
