- 7:45 PM,
Wednesday, April 3rd, 2002:
-
- Seriously. There's
just no excuse for not catchin' on already. LOL. I'm
so limited in what I can do to trick you within "The
Journey", that you guys should be ready for it. Now
quite a few of you were, and that's what SHOULD happen
by now. LOL. But amazingly, the majority of you fell
for it. That just RULES.
-
- Now I think
you all need to realize that I was planning a pretty
kick ass april fools joke. I had it planned for
MONTHS. Unfortunately, I couldn't go through with it.
You can't very well show people a video of you
imagining a gun in your mouth and crying, and then
fuck with their emotions some more. Besides, I'm
drained. I'm so emotionally drained, that I wasn't
even up for it. There's 2 kinds of jokes I can pull in
these entries: Something great happened, or
something horrible happened. My original plan was with
good fortune, and then having it be a joke. I kept
imagining you guys actually being relieved that this
would get me out of my intense depression, and then
finding out it was a joke and being devastated. That's
just not funny. My depression isn't real funny either.
So basically it was just bad timing for April 1st.
I actually started writing the entry as I had
intended. And it broke my heart. I felt like I
was back in November and on a high. It was depressing
the hell out of me so I just said screw it.
-
- Then on Sunday I
just figured, for tradition's sake, to write a "bad"
one. That was easy. I knew exactly how I'd feel if the
trailer was taken. LOL. It was a half-assed entry,
with none of last year's trickery to make you forget
the date, but it didn't matter. Hook, line, and sinker
boy. And has been the case with "Jess leaving me in
2000" and "winning the lottery in 2001", there are
still some people that are only finding out NOW that
the last entry was a joke. Kyle Pees...come on buddy.
You gotta break this streak next year man. This is
saaaaaaaaaad. Although I am proud of a lot of you.
Many of you were waiting for the date just to see what
I'd do next. You have learned young padawans. In the
future, the April Fools Day joke has to be for the
NEWBIES. We can all laugh at those who hadn't been
around for the other ones. But I'm afraid some of you
will never learn. So now, for our enjoyment, I present
the suckers:
-
- First
the Instant Messages:
-
|
PhnxFire:
Hey
Adam
Adam4tvs:
hey
PhnxFire:
Just got your
e-mail.. damn man.
Adam4tvs:
no SHIT
PhnxFire:
You think some
fuck from your apartment complex took
it?
Adam4tvs:
i can't imagine it being anyone
else
Adam4tvs:
it's all gated
Adam4tvs:
I'm so screwed though - it could've happened
WEEKS ago
Adam4tvs:
I hadn't checked forEVER
PhnxFire:
Damn.
PhnxFire:
What are you going
to do now?
Adam4tvs:
no clue
Adam4tvs:
I may laugh though
PhnxFire:
ya?
Adam4tvs:
yup
PhnxFire:
Why?
Adam4tvs:
Follow through...
Adam4tvs:
Making sure you check EVERYTHING
PhnxFire:
Hmm...
PhnxFire:
How's Jess
doing?
Adam4tvs:
alright
PhnxFire:
Any
better?
Adam4tvs:
eh
PhnxFire:
Well, no matter
what happens, you've got supporters in Ohio.
Doubt that helps, but there you
are.
Adam4tvs:
Kind've like what I said in the last
paragraph
Adam4tvs:
"fuck"
Adam4tvs:
heh
Adam4tvs:
you read that?
PhnxFire:
Yup.
Adam4tvs:
Well, then are you excited about starring in
the next entry?
PhnxFire:
?
Adam4tvs:
. . .
PhnxFire:
Ah damn, I've been
keeping too many late nights.
Adam4tvs:
"I'll leave the rest of the "fucks" to
you. You who didn't bother to read the date
before you read this. Three. Straight. Years.
"
PhnxFire:
I read that, and
didn't understand it.
Adam4tvs:
LOLOL
PhnxFire:
God, I need sleep.
PhnxFire:
You got me,
Kontras. Congratulations.
Adam4tvs:
;-)
PhnxFire:
Fuck, it is NOT
april already.
Adam4tvs:
yeah it is!
Adam4tvs:
12:42 AM, April 1st, 2002
Adam4tvs:
awwwwwwwwww yeah
PhnxFire:
Well, I'm somewhat
relieved, if somewhat embarrassed.
PhnxFire:
Anyway,
I've got to go to bed.
PhnxFire:
Congratulations
again.
Adam4tvs:
later
|
-
- Giddy-Up.
-
-
|
HondaCX500:
i have to admit, the
first thing i thought of was the
manager....
Adam4tvs:
really?
HondaCX500:
yeah
Adam4tvs:
WOW
|
-
- Jesus
people, you're watchin' too many
movies.
- I know
this is Hollywood but
DAAAAAAMN...
-
-
|
Jermendude:
wow. dude. that really so sucks
Adam4tvs:
yup
Jermendude:
i really dont know what else to say.
Adam4tvs:
yeah
Adam4tvs:
the last paragraph is really the
clincher
Jermendude:
ironic it happened on this date. you are sure
this is not just some sort of joke
right?
Adam4tvs:
hmmmm
Adam4tvs:
yeah, it is
Adam4tvs:
;-)
Jermendude:
hehe you sucl ;-)
Jermendude:
i was thinking so
Jermendude:
you would have said fuck
Jermendude:
at least 5 million more times
Adam4tvs:
lol
Jermendude:
lol
|
-
- Actually,
what you read was exactly what I would've
written.
- Fuck has
really lost it's power in my
entries...
-
- Now this
next chick is Japaneese, so she's just
learning
- the stupid
things we Americans think are
funny...
-
-
|
MoonGlow540:
hey there
Adam4tvs:
hey
Adam4tvs: how ya
been?
MoonGlow540:
better than you
MoonGlow540:
sorry about the trailer
Adam4tvs:
yeah
Adam4tvs:
thanks
MoonGlow540:
that is so horrible
MoonGlow540: i
can't even imagine
Adam4tvs:
completely
MoonGlow540:
wow..i'm just thinking about what i would
do if someone took all of my keyboard and
guitar and stuff
MoonGlow540:
wow
Adam4tvs:
yeah
Adam4tvs: lemme
ask you something...
Adam4tvs: do they
have April 1st in Japan?
MoonGlow540:
yeah...do they not in america
Adam4tvs: LOL
MoonGlow540:
what do you mean?
Adam4tvs:
Is it called April Fools in Japan?
MoonGlow540:
april fools?
MoonGlow540:
what?
MoonGlow540:
oh...a friend told me about that
MoonGlow540: you
try to fool some one on the first of
april
MoonGlow540:
why?
Adam4tvs:
LOLOL
Adam4tvs: just
some stupid US tradition I guess
Adam4tvs: it's
basicaly a free day
MoonGlow540:
what are you laughing for?
Adam4tvs:
to "get everyone you know"
MoonGlow540:
oh!
Adam4tvs:
it's a joke
Adam4tvs: My
trailer is safe
MoonGlow540:
oh
MoonGlow540:
but
MoonGlow540:
oh!
MoonGlow540: you
were fooling me!!
MoonGlow540:
ah
MoonGlow540:
wow...you are good
Adam4tvs:
;-)
MoonGlow540:
i was so fooled!
|
-
- I can't
take too much pride in foolin' someone who
barely
- knows what
the day is. Funny nonetheless...
-
-
|
Stellargrrl45:
Hello
Adam4tvs:
how-D
Stellargrrl45:
um
i read your thingy
Adam4tvs:
yeah
Stellargrrl45:
i
just wanted to say sorry and i wanted to know
if you had a new plan like to steal the stuff
you need
Stellargrrl45:
or
whore your body to men
Adam4tvs:
Hadn't really thought of that
Adam4tvs:
hmmm...
Adam4tvs:
are getting my 4tvs back worth being anally
raped...
Stellargrrl45:
yes
Adam4tvs:
<thinking>
Adam4tvs:
NO
Adam4tvs:
heh
Stellargrrl45:
it
cant be that bad
Stellargrrl45:
i
say do it
Adam4tvs:
You know what I say?
Adam4tvs:
Read the last paragraph...
Stellargrrl45:
i
read it
Adam4tvs:
And what did that say...
Adam4tvs:
Did it hapen to mention that you should've
read the date before the entry?
Stellargrrl45:
no
Stellargrrl45:
hmm
Stellargrrl45:
should
i feel stupid
Adam4tvs:
"I'll leave the rest of the "fucks" to
you. You who didn't bother to read the date
before you read this. Three. Straight.
Years."
Adam4tvs:
April Fools
Stellargrrl45:
im
not talking to you
Adam4tvs:
;-)
Stellargrrl45:
haha
Stellargrrl45:
ok
now its funny
Adam4tvs:
You're part of a long list of
suckers
Adam4tvs:
so dont feel too bad
Adam4tvs:
:-)
Stellargrrl45:
thank
you
Stellargrrl45:
its
kind of NOT FUNNY but im sure you had lots of
fun doing it
Stellargrrl45:
im
still really mad
Stellargrrl45:
this
one was really believable
|
-
- Who the
hell thinks of PROSTITUTION as your first solution?
LOL
-
- Onto
the E-mails:
-
-
|
one of
these years,
this is
going to come back on you
somehow.....(lol)
-Stephen
|
-
- I think
everyday of my life recently is one big Karma sandwich
for these.
-
-
- Adam-
-
- Christ,
man, you're screwed. At least you're
admiting the limitations of 4tvs. At least
you're understanding that it's not the
only direction that you can go in. I know
that you'll get there
eventually.
-
- Well,
maybe it's time to realize that you're
going to have to do other things. If
you're gonna make it. You don't have any
explaining to do with things that aren't
4tvs. Maybe you should come back to
columbus.
-
- -Chris
|
-
- Eat me
ASSHOLE. Thanks for the confidence
boost.
-
-
-
-
- Couldn't
have said it better myself...
-
-
|
nice one,
dork. you really got me. i hope everything's
going well out there. happy easter and all
that jazz. tim.
|
-
- Word. See
you soon...
-
-
- Man I
thought I was getting good and there was
absolutely "NO WAY" you would "EVER" fool
me again. Even my son got me on April
fools-he woke me up in the morning to tell
me that the storm last nite blew down our
big tree in the front-I jumped from my bed
to remember that there was no
storm.
-
One day
I will get you...................before I
am too old and cranky, and can't control
my bodily functions.
-
Good
one,
- Nick
|
-
- Wow, you
have no excuses. You were on guard and
everything!
-
-
|
That
actually ruined my day. I was so
sincerely sad for you...you DICK.
|
-
- Oooh...that
stings. I don't wanna REALLY piss you guys
off..
-
-
|
Eat shit
and die Kontras. NEVER AGAIN
WILL YOU GET ME.
Brian
|
-
- RIGHT. See
ya next year...
-
-
- Now,
getting fooled half-way through and Instant Messaging
me is one thing.
- Reading
the whole thing, and still writing me is just
mind-boggling.
-
-
|
You may be
the most unlucky sunuva bitch I've ever
known. I'm sure that's the last thing you
wanna hear, but at SOME point it'll even
out. That's when you'll hit it big....REALLY
big. Good luck finding the asshole who took
it.
Greg
|
-
- These
really are my favorite. Read the WHOLE ENTRY
people.
-
- Which brings us to
our 3-timers club. Now most of you were "kinda" fooled
all 3 years, but caught it before you made it until
the end. The following 3 people bought it hook-line
and sinker, all 3 years - but were actually decent
enough to admit it. First up, Ron:
-
-
- I'll
add a few more "fucks" for
you.
-
- You
fucking bastard, getting me all fucking
worked up, ready to fucking
- tell
my wife about your fucking bad luck, and
then you fuck with my
- emotions
like this? I fucking hate April Fucking
Fools Day, you sick fuck.
-
- There.
That oughtta do it...
-
- Ron
-
- PS -
The mood watch on my Eudora mail server is
going nuts...
|
-
- Lest us
not forget 2001:
-
-
- You
truly are a bastard, you know that? I just
woke up, read your entry
- and
think, "Wow, good for them." I was even
going to write and tell you to
- keep
my share, but forget it now, bucco! I want
my $100 for putting up
- with
this crap!
-
- Ron
- ****
Bushnell Road
- Conneaut,
OH. 44030
-
- And I
want that check in a week, or else I come
out there and take it out
- of
Jessica's hide (you didn't expect me to
fight you, did you?)!
|
-
- And of
course the year 2000:
-
-
- Uh-huh.
- You
bastard. You got me hook, line, and
sinker.
-
- Of
course, I got Beth earlier today, so I
guess I deserved it. I told her
- around
8:00 this morning we were going into town
for the "big April First
- Parade
in Conneaut." She was lookng around for a
bag to hold candy. After
- the
three of us went to breakfast, Beth asked
me where the parade was, and
- I
said, "What parade, honey?" She said, "You
know, the big April First Day
- Parade!"
-
- I got
her good.
- -Ron
-
- (Now
see, Beth is his 7 year old daughter.
That's just CRUEL)
|
-
- Then we have
Mickey. A woman so nice that she initiated the
"cookie-jar" for Jess and I when we were down to our
last penny in 2000. It breaks my heart to have
deceived her 3 straight years. Really. It does.
LOL.
-
-
- Oh,
you bastard...
-
Dammit,
shouldn't have read that before I showered
and got conscious.
- You
sucked me in for the third year in a row.
Man, you are a bastard
- by
inclination, if not by birth.
*tbbbbbppppttthh*
-
- Mickey
|
-
- She was
even sweet about getting tricked in
2001:
-
-
- Hey
Adam,
-
- Good
April Fools' prank. The faked ticket and
fortune and everything was great! Would
that it had been real... I don't give a
shit about getting the $100 for myself,
but for what it could have done for you
and Jess... ah, well. Good prank anyway.
-
- Hang
in there, and best of luck in all your
endeavors,
- Mickey
|
-
- Ahh the
original. Didn't mean to make people
CRY...
-
-
- Hey
Adam:
- Damn
you and the horse you rode in on. Not
funny, man. Not funny at all.
- I was
in tears before I got to the April fools
part. That's mean. :-)
- -Mickey
|
-
- Which brings us to
Kyle Pees. Now I need to say here, he's NOT a stupid
man. An old salesman from CD101, great guy - but he
just always ends up lookin' like a fool - HAHA. He's
another one of those "didn't read the last sentence"
suckers:
-
-
- That
sucks Adam. Good positive spin though. I
suspect that you will come back to some
sort of positive view point before too
long. Next time you will invest in one of
those nasty tire boots that the Chicago
Police are so fond of putting on cars that
have stayed too long at the two dollar an
hour meters that they have on the streets
there. I've never seen anyone defeat one
of those suckers!
-
- FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK
- FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK
- FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK
- FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK
- FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK
- FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK
- FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK
- FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK
- FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK
- FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK
|
-
- Always wondered
what 100 FUCKs looked like. LOL. Now he may have
gotten it THAT moment, but I think he was saying
"FUCK" because of the situation. Guess I'll find
out. Of course, he did the EXACT SAME THING
last year, and then RE-emailed me figuring it
out:
-
- 2001
-
-
- Dude,
you are amazing. I wish that I could hit
the lottery. I wonder what Katy would
think of my last name if I won a cool
$20mil? Probably wouldn't matter then,
would it?
-
- Congratulations
Adam!
-
- It is
my fondest hope for you that the 12
tickets that matched all 5 numbers each
receive the $112,866 rather than having to
split that number 12 ways. Either way, it
will be nice to have that kind of payday!
I look forward to hearing how the whole
thing pans out!
- Kyle
-
- ONE
HOUR LATER:
-
- It
just occurred to me that it was April
Fools day yesterday...
-
- KP
|
-
- Of course
in 2000, he simply emailed me
with:
-
-
-
-
- Poor Kyle. I've so
publically humiliated this guy. If you remember from
CD101, he wrote a spec commercial (a spot trying to
lure a client to advertise with the station) for
"Macroni Grill" and I used it as a segment of
"Sincerely Bad poetry". It was a bit where people
submitted poetry that was written for them "sincerely"
that was just awful. In fact...this is the internet
and all. How 'bout we continue the laughter with
making that this entry's video? LOL. True, there's no
video, but the mp3 is enough. It really doesn't get
much funnier than
this.
-
- And to round out
our reactions, the email that actually made me laugh
out loud:
-
-
|
It's a
good thing you won the lottery one year ago
today to be able to pay for the replacement
of all that stuff! :)
Barbara
|
-
- So there you have
it. April Fools 2002. All I can say, is just
WAIT until next year. God...next year. Where will I be
in a year...
- Adam
|
