- 12:01
AM, Monday, February 4th, 2002:
-
-
-
- I don't even know
where to start. Let me just say that after the
meeting, I now consider it feasible to have a working
relationship with Charlotte. In fact it went so well
I'm actually excited about writing with her
again?!?!?!?! AM I NUTS?!!?! I'm not even
sure if I can fully analyze why I've come to this
decision without requestioning my heart AGAIN.
-
- I'm almost
embarrased. It's as if my earlier feelings were
unfounded...but they weren't! It's all a lack of
communication. Is that possible? I'll start from the
beginning.
-
- I get there at
2:30 and she's already there. I was struck with the
tiniest bit of disappointment as I hoped she'd be late
AGAIN. That's the drama queen in me coming out...
Anyway - we shot the shit for a bit, but basically
went right into talking about The Trinitrons. We
recorded the conversation and we went 3 straight
hours. I'm tellin' you - it was incredible. I've never
felt more productive in my life. ESPECIALLY with her.
I had my notes, she had hers - and we discussed them.
It turns out that most of my ideas aren't COMPLETELY
useable. There's some nice sized holes in 'em. But I
came to the same conclusions she had very quickly -
and was happy with how things turned out. She had some
great ideas, some strange ideas, and presented them in
a very "equal" way. She admitted when things were just
weird ideas - and not concrete - as I did the same.
-
- So now of course
comes the part where we talk a bit about what happened
yesterday. And after the past 3 hours we just
spent...needless to say we're both in a good mood. So
apologies abounded. Here's the big one. When she said
"I have no plans for Sunday"...that really meant:
"I'm not planning anything for Sunday because
I don't know how I'll feel". I took it as: "You
have no plans for Sunday, so we can get together". As
well, she heard my second round of calls FIRST (when
I was a bit pissy) - and thought that was my
FIRST call to her. Thus was pissed and didn't
call. She apologized. Of course this leaves me with no
recourse for being pissy about this week. Everything
else is pretty legitimate.
-
- I did bring up all
my other concerns at this point in the meeting and we
find yet another communication mishap. She was never
saying the road wasn't different after Aspen, it is -
most assuredly it is...but what I do is the same.
Writing, acting...all that. It's exactly the same. And
she's right. Our path is a bit backwards now. We have
to have all the ideas ready and take them to a network
as opposed to someone seeing me, giving me a holding
deal and working within it. That is what makes Aspen
so great - is it's a true development event. Missing
that hurts. Then again, there's Montreal. And of
course execs COULD see me at these shows and we'd be
alright too. But execs also don't trust their
instincts too well and winning Aspen kind've helps
that. More of a "safe-bet".
-
- Now, life isn't
ALL GRAND with Charlotte. Most assuredly not.
There's still amazing communication differences. She
is still condescending AS HELL and is
melodramatic when she has to
SPELL THINGS OUT FOR ME. As if her
"I have no plans for Sunday" is just OBVIOUS. Even
during the meeting if she would try to explain a
concept - and couldn't...or I didn't understand it -
she would roll her eyes and look at the ground as if
to say: "WHAT a MORON".
-
- Like this for
example (and this is on tape). She asked me "How do
you see this writing process going". This is after we
had finished and I talked about what I was gonna
do before the next time we meet on Thursday. I was a
bit unsure on what she was asking. I said: "Good? What
do you mean...". She said: "How do you see this
writing process going"When I said what do you mean she
put her head down again as if to show utter exhaustion
with my STUPID questions. She continued by saying
THE exact same thing. So reminiscent of a fight we had
during the G recording in July when she said "You're
doing it too much like a white guy". She said this
over and over and over until I finally YELLED:
"I'M THE ONLY WHITE GUY HERE,
YOU GOT ANY OTHER DIRECTIONS?" -
Heh. I finally got out of her that what she was asking
about was: "what I expected her to have ready for our
next meeting" !??!??! It's a charater flaw. Plain and
simple. She can't express in words always what she's
thinking. And it often times comes out wrong. Throwing
her head down and acting like
I'M THE ONE who is stupid, is also a
character flaw.
-
- Is it enough to
leave her and never look back? No. I just HAVE to deal
with this. Have to. Be aggressive, point it out to her
when she does it, but DEAL with it. My chances are
astronmiclaly better than starting over. Period. I
have to look at myself as the same hustling guy I was
a year ago, but with help. Direction? Yeah,
I have many now. As I did before. I'm shoring all
those directions up. Cementing my acting side, my
writing side, everything. In the direction of
development deal, I will have a pilot and bible, and a
killer tape. KILLER TAPE. In the direction of acting,
I have great headshots and hopefully some great
auditions. And so on and so on. I even talked with her
about doing a stand-up act and trying to write a very
focussed 5-8 minutes, for even another
angle.
-
- As well, I'll take
a much more active role in all of this. Apparently I
should've been flyering around each show. (sigh). I
didn't take the initiative to do that. (sigh).
WHATEVER, I'm not gonna bitch - I'm just
GONNA DO IT NOW. Who cares if she never
eluded to this before, if she's absolutely full of
shit for turning it back on me now, or if she's making
excuses for why no one will be there tomorrow...LOL (I
guess I just did bitch). NOW, I'll do it. I'll market
myself, and see her as an asset for writing and for
getting industry interested. It'll be my
responsibility to get the general public to the show,
and create a buzz. She said this was always the role
of the performer. Goddamn she has selective memory.
But WHO CARES. NOW. I. KNOW.
-
- OK, so is The
Journey back? It is. It really is. There'll just
happen to be 4 locked entries in a row that will
never, EVER, EVER be opened. Well maybe when I'm
famous Charlotte and I will think this is funny and up
they'll go. Wow. What a crazy few days it's been. I'm
very, very tired. Enjoy the song.
-
- Adam
-
-
- original
video file
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