It's
truly extraordinary. I've aged a year in 3 months. At
this rate I'll collect Social Security in ten years.
This
entire past weekend was an absolute ROLLER COASTER.
(Thus the "Kontras Island" title - a bit of a stretch,
I know). It's amazing, going back to work is
almost like a form of Prozac. No real highs, no real
lows, just middle-of-the road peace. I actually look
forward to it. For once I'll start with the
good.
The
show was very well received. Of course it can't be all
good, technical difficulties once again whooped my
ass. G's TV didn't come on at the beginning. Heh.
So I was jiggling wires behind the TVs for the first
song - and everyone laughed when his TV finally came
on. It's great - people have no idea when shit isn't
working right in the beginning, because they're still
trying to figure out what the hell they're
watching. Then of course, the left channel was
completely gone for the first 10 minutes. So I
actually had to (this is so classic) - crank the
volume whenever G or Dewey spoke just to get the BLEED
from the right channel and then put it back down when
Cameron, Spencer or I spoke. My head was spinning. It
might rank up there as one of the most difficult
mental tasks I've had to pull off. Thank GOD for
videogames, cause without 'em I never would've been
able to do this. But seriously to know the show well
enough to be able to hit the master volume up and down
at the right times, yet stay in character and hit my
lines. Holy shit. It was ugly. I finally wiggled the
right cable and was able to get both channels up and
running by G's song. Criiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiminey.
Audience
reaction was very, very good. It truly is a marvel how
some audiences laugh at things I would never think of.
Especially after all this time. Quite a few moments of
"Oh yeah, I guess that is kinda funny". Man I
love a live audience. It really is the greatest
feeling. Not because they're applauding per se - but
you're just "on". Technical difficulties aside, you
just lose yourself. When I'm in between those 2
towers, I feel incredibly comfortable and...safe? Is
that the word? It's just right. No matter what
I do the rest of my life...be it films, tv -
anything. I will never stop performing 4tvs shows. It
will always be my thing.
Which
is why LOSING 4tvs.com was more than a little
disconcerting. Apparently I was sent all my
"notices" to adam@qn.net - which when I was being
hosted by Quicknet always got forwarded to
adam@4tvs.com . When I transferred to Catnaz,
that wasn't changed. Now I got an email from
catnaz saying they had renewed it for me, not to
worry...but apparently I had to authorize it. Guess
where that was sent? Yup, adam@qn.net - which has been
defunct for nearly 3 years now. Whew. What a mess. In
fact, as of this writing - I still have no email
or website. It's quite distressing. At least I know
I won't lose the domain name - but in 4 years,
the site has never, EVER, been down. You realize just
how much it means to you when there's a chance of
losing it. 4 letter .com domains are nonexistent now.
Hell it was amazing I got it in 1999. Man that
was 4 years ago. That's an entire Highschool life -
poof. So that's why you're all probably reading this
late. Heh - so what's May like?
And
finally, the real stress that I'm saving for the end
just to give my nerves a break. No wait - one more
funny thing:
So
I finally did it (so I thought), bought a videogame
that Jessica wouldn't want to play. It was becoming
quite funny how my game buying habits were changing. I
rarely buy them anymore to begin with, and if it's
something Jess won't be interested - well I just don't
get it. From Animal Crossing, to Zelda, to even a
Beach Volleyball game with half naked chicks (word) -
she's actually gotten into them, therefore it's money
well spent as we both share it.
But
I knew NBA
Street, Vol.
2
would not be one of those games. A dream
game for me of course as it has all the
old school NBA Legends playing
side-by-side (Shaq vs. Wilt rules) and 3
Michael Jordans. WOOOOOORD. So I actually
felt bad spending the money - because, no
- as cool as she is - she's not a sports
fan.
I
tried though - to get her interested. I first created
myself in the game, and amazingly - they actually have
my hat.
Is
that spooky or what? It's friggin' me. So she thought
that was cool, and ended up making herself - and
starting up her own career. Suprisingly she got the
hang of all the tricks pretty quickly, and before you
knew it she was further along than me. Winning games,
builiding up her character - she was actually into it.
So after an evening of watching her surpass everything
I had done earlier in the day - I thought I'd just
take her on. So we took seperate teams, and both
picked the 1996 Michael Jordan, and Kobe Bryant for a
3 on 3 game. As fair as could be. I figured hey,
I taught her everything she knows - so this
should be quite easy.
She
beat me 23-21. And I TRIIIIIED. I mean, she was
blocking my shots, stealing the ball - dunking over my
ass every chance she got. It was a game to 21 (win by
2), so it was back and forth for awhile. Her Jordan
won it on a long-ass bomb that I barely missed
blocking. To this very moment, I can't belive it. She
completely outplayed me in every possible aspect. And
this is in an NBA basketball game. I wasn't sure
if I wanted to kiss her or never speak to her again.
LOL. The game is amazing btw - out for all 3
consoles...pick it up.
Ok,
I've stalled long enough: The House. What a weekend of
HELL on the house. Right after my last entry - we
learned that she had found an apartment. But it's not
time to celebrate - cause she still doesn't think she
can move on time. She's got a bunch of school projects
around the same time, and she's busy. Heh. Can you
imagine what my reaction to that was? I won't
even bother typing it - you all just said it. She was
adament that she could move out NO earlier than
May 17th - pushing our move-in date to the 21st.
Effectively screwing us, as our time off would then be
over. After days of fighting back and forth through
the realtors, we finally got an "OK" from her
that she'd be out on time. What the hell that means is
beyond me though. Somehow her saying "ok" means more
than her signature did 2 months ago? Whatever. The
stress just keeps mounting. I wish I had a Paulie
and Christopher to knock on her door sometimes. I keep
seeing Tony Soprano's smiling face at her doorstep.
"So you're having trouble moving out? I'm certain we
could help." Heh. Basically I won't believe anything
is official until we start rippin' up the carpet. That
"should" still happen on Wednesday evening, May
14th. Here's hopin'.
And
the final bit of stress of course is the whole
"Career" thing. No matter how often I tell myself that
it's ok to chill for a few months while I pin down the
domestic stuff, and that in the long run I'm better
off because I'm securing my future here.. it still
doesn't feel like enough. They had the story of Jim
Carrey on E! a few days ago, and that one really hits
me for some reason. Parallels and what not. A unique
act that hits the right people, and eventually finds a
niche. He's such an incredible physical specimen
though, that it's pretty easy to see his path lies in
front of the camera, doing his thing. The things he
can do with his face is just spooky. My act is not as
much raw talent as it is combining every talent
I can think of in a unique way. Who knows which
is better suited to "making it". Seems there's room
for both. I also feel that this "manager hunt" will
lead to me going on a college tour for some reason. I
asked Jess if she was cool with that, and she said
yes. It just seems that the act calls for touring a
bit. It would be good exposure, good money, and just
something that needs to be done - especially before
kids. I'm really gonna try and hit that up once
I have both shows complete. It would be a pretty
killer one hour show.
So
things are basically good, just "heavy". I watched
"Stand By Me" the other day and a line really stuck
out that never hit me before. Narrator says: "We
knew who we were, and where we were going". That's
truly what you lose when you grow up. Very few of us
have direction that clear. I whine like it's my own
demon - but it's everyone's. We all want that clear
direction and when you're a kid you don't worry about
"who you are" and "where you're going". You are where
and who you are at that moment. At recess you're a
basketball player, at school you're a scholar (if you
want to be), at home you're whatever...it's all pretty
clear. Then the safety net disappears and you spend
however long trying to find out what the hell's going
on. Great movie. Hopefully this will be too
someday.
