I
pretty much live for stories like this. They're
stories that have no other place in life, but in a
journal of some sort. They don't stand on their own as
movies, or even short stories - but as a real-life
occurence they hold weight. It's interesting in the
context of "The Journey". And really - you just go
"wow" when you see how much transpired on this
day.
So
I'm driving to Toyota as my lease is up this month. On
my way there I see the "Ha-Ha Cafe" and remember
how good that show was, and how the owner wanted to
build a night around it. Charlotte didn't feel that
was in our best interest and it fell away - but shit,
now what would I have to lose. As well, he did
what he said he would do almost a year ago - huge
pictures of spotlighted performers on the billboard
out front. Vegas-style. Looked really nice. I was
impressed.
Toyota
was a joke. The idiot receptionist told me to take my
car back to where I leased it from. I said
that was in "OHIO". She seemed like she understood,
then made a call, then hung up and said - "No, you'll
have to take it back to where you leased it from". I
become testy at this point. "You want me to drive my
car to OHIO." A few looks are shared... "Would you
like to speak to the manager?". I wanted to say -
THE ONE IN OHIO!??! But I stopped my
assholier than thou attitude. The manager said he
can't take the car - that I have to call the place in
Ohio and work something out for a drop-off here.
Whatever. Like no one has ever moved during a lease
before. LOL.
So
on my way back I stop at Haha's. It's around 1:30 and
the owner was with his wife eating dinner. I get
out - and get his attention. I had to remind him who
I was - but when I said "TVs" he got really
excited. He loved the show the first time, and invited
me in and brought his wife over. He wanted to do
something - and now. He had a huge show planned for
tonight, and wanted me to close it out. Go on like
10:30. Perfect for a Friday night. I thought for
a second, and then said - well yeah - if I set-up
RIGHT NOW, then go to work (I was working for
just 2-3 hours around 4) and then come back it just
might work. So BOOM. I have a show.
I'm
driving home to get my trailer, and my head is
spinning. I'm pumped up again. I'm so elated I had
just happen to burn 5 copies of the DVD, I can make
the covers and be ready to go for tonight. As well,
this guy wants to make a night around the show.
I have a built-in full audience. This is perfect.
As well, I can premiere Trinitrons 2 there. I can
build up to it. Just perfect.
As
my head is spinning - I notice the guy in front of me
turning into a side street. When all the sudden
BAAAAAAAAAAM. He fuckin SLAMS into a pole, knocks
it down - smashes through a fire-hydrant and into some
bushes. Violently. With NO ONE around. Just
out of the blue. Either drunk or asleep. It was
incredible. I slow down, and look back and he's just
staring forward, unharmed. I thought about getting
out, but other people were stopping - and there was
just no way. I was really pushing it as it was.
But it did make me stop and think of the "LA
mentality". I'd have done the same thing in Columbus
had I seen no one was hurt, but it still seemed
rather selfish of me. But so surreal. It's like I'm
all giddy-about how great things are and then
BAAAAAAAM. Strange.
So
I get the trailer, go back to set up. Get everything
up and running. My bottom TVs are dying quickly
though. May have to do something about that - but for
now we're cool. The DVD player FROZE at one point as
I was testing it- so (sigh) I have to run it off
my camcorder (as I've done the last 4 times because of
that..... what the hell??!) So I can't tape it. GRRR.
So
then I rush off to home, change for work, prep one of
the rooms for painting on Saturday, 2 hours later I'm
rushing back home. I go to Kinko's to make 5 copies of
covers for the 5 DVDs and oh yeah, I have to shave.
LOL. It's hectic as hell - but we get there, the owner
buys us dinner - and the show starts.
Killer
crowd, killer comedians - amazing turnout. Perfect
audience. Laughing a bunch - great mix of black,
hispanic, white - I couldn't have picked a better
crowd. The comedians were also very good. Very
seasoned - some very funny shit. All of 'em making
jokes about the TVs on stage. I always look for that
from the stand-ups in this situation. If you can work
the TVs into the act, you're good at your shit. One
black dude as he was leavin the stage said: "How many
brothas in the audience?" the guys raise their hands,
"Cool, you're gonna help me take these TVs later..."
Heh.
Unfortunately
however, the show ran really long. I was supposed
to go on at 10:30, and didn't go on until 11:20. Now
the crowd was laughin', so it wasn't that big of a
deal - but still. The show started at 8:30. It was
friggin' looooong. But - my show is a great ender, so
I was excited...
...much
in the same way that I was excited driving back from
the Ha-Ha earlier that day. Same feelings and
thoughts. Remember what happened then? Right - a
surreal crash that felt like a dream.
I
have never in my 27 years on this earth, been more
dumbfounded by an audience's reaction in my life. It
was so bad, people actually left. People stood up,
blocking my screens during the last song. The Emcee
came up afterwards and asked people if they liked it -
they said "No". First of all, that was kind of a dick
move on his part, but his choice. It was incredible.
Begs the question...why.
I could
make excuses upon excuses, but it all sounds so
arrogant. As if there's something actually wrong with
the people if they don't like me. You know? But the
bottom line is - they obviously didn't get it. Many of
the people were so far off to the side, that they saw
nothing. They expected a joke a second - and there is
a "slight" build-up (very slight) at the
beginning. But with all that aside, I mean - they
didn't even understand the rewind bit? Maybe 2 laughs
during Spencer's song? This is something that has
KILLED in every setting.
As
well though, they had all sat there for over 3 hours
before I came on. That's a fucking long time. No
matter how funny the comics were, 3 hours is a show.
My extra 30 minutes (and they had no idea what to
expect timewise) was easily too much. As well, nothing
from the emcee about the fact that it was a one-man
show - and I honestly don't believe the majority
of the people had any idea it was all me. The Emcee
didn't even know. He wasn't even watching the show.
When it ended - he never came back on. I had to find
his ass. Very weak. And
hearing everyone say how much they didn't like it
ONSTAGE while I was backstage in dreamland was
just...crazy. I started to giggle actually. It
was so foreign to anything that has ever happened to
me - that I kind of started to enjoy it. As if I
was getting the opportunity to sit in someone else's
shoes. But that was fleeting. I'd love to say I can
just let this go, but nope. This'll stick with me
until I'm successful again. I can't control it.
I will think of it several times a day, every
second I'm writing the sequel - constantly. That's
just how I work. I wish I could change
it.
Of course this
friggin' journal just FORCES me to face it all with
the whole world being able to read it. Grrr. They can
see me as an arrogant cock who decides to blame the
audience when I fail. Something I thought I'd never,
ever do - I'm doing openly right now. But in my
defense, I did the show 12 times before this,
including an amazing night at The Comedy Store, to
some of the most incredible response you can imagine.
So you have to chalk it up to a fluke. That it was
just "over the heads" of most of the audience. That's
not so much arrogance as it is the law of
averages.
And
talk about the longest tear-down of my
life. I actually wanted to hide.
I wanted to curl up into a ball and
have it all just be put away for me. SUCH
a different feeling than any other
performance in my life. The owner was
still positive, we'll talk next week. He
said we should do it "differently" next
time. So the guy certainly knows his shit.
And obviously, the first show I did there
was AMAZING.
I mean, one of my top 3 performances. And
no, I'm not showing that video because I'm
a pussy. I had to run my show off my
camera because of my fugged up
DVD player. I'm gonna try and get a
copy of the bad show this week. Hell,
I want it more than
anything.
...right.
Heh.
To balance
everything out, although it may be just as big of a
set-up for a crash, we just filled out all the
paperwork for our first offer on a house. In what may
be the smallest 2 bedroom house I've ever seen, the
location just blew us away. All the other houses in
the area are in the $300,000 range - smack dab in the
middle of Burbank. It's the SHIT. We made an offer
actually $2500 over their asking price of $215,000 as
there were 4 offers and 1 counter-offer already on the
table, and it's completely comfortable to pull off
with all the first-time buyer stuff. Garage, front
yard - very quaint, but the location will absolutely,
positively assure us a SUBSTANTIAL gain in 3-5 years.
Including the work we put in on it, the location just
can't be beat. It's actually a good 10 minutes closer
to work than we are now. LOL. It's a MILE from
work for both Jess and I - and in the middle of
everything.
We should know
tomorrow or Monday, and Jess and I are completely
holding our breath. We want this puppy bad. And again,
just as it's easy to say "write-off last night's
show", it's easy to say "don't worry about the house".
Neither will happen anytime soon - and we're just
praying for time to pass until we find out. I'll
obviously keep you posted.
So there you go.
The Valentine's Day Massacre. Mofos left in the middle
of the show - LOL. Might as well have been at LULUS.
HA!!!
