See, you thought I
was gonna go all "Romandoms" or "Italiandoms" but
I threw in the train. :-) Basically because I need a
universal Randoms to end the whole trip and Italy by
itself I don't believe can cover enough for one entry.
Though I am techincally starting this in Rome so I can
use what may be my favorite "entry bar" design of the
trip. May have to use something like that next
year.
1) The Romantic
Train...
...is kinda
horseshit. Maybe if it's at night, in a sleeper train
- at the bar traincar... with Maddie Hayes (sorry,
just had a Moonlighting flashback) but in reality,
trains are slow, kinda uncomfortable and when you're
on one for 12 hours in 3 days - you've seen all you're
gonna see. Didn't stop me from making a video on
one... just 'cause being on a train to Venice just
seems noteworthy.
:-)
2)
Jaaaaaaaaaaaaames
Alas! A story
about another male! Ha.
So my first night
in Rome I shared a room with this cool cat from Taiwan
named James. He's been doing Europe for 2 years
so he's got me beat by a long shot. This too was the
end of his trip and we had a chance to talk a bit.
Funniest thing though - every word the man utters
sounds like it's dripping with sarcasm. Like
I asked him about taking the city bus as opposed
to the shuttle and he replies: "Well if you want to do
that, gooooooooo ahead, but I don't
knowwwwwwwwwwww...." I looked at him strange and moved
on. Then as we talked I realized every sentence
was spoken to me like I was mildly retarded for saying
my previous few words. And then it just occured to me
that's just how he speaks english - or he is a
complete prick and thinks I'm a moron. Either way, it
was such a strange thing to try and ignore when
talking to him. If the guy you were talking to was
American - at some point you'd have to throwdown. Ha.
No wonder I spend more time with women.
I have issues. :-)
3)
I MISS YOU PADDY
I'm gonna get
punched for this. So I was tellin' Paddy online that I
was really ready to get back. Missed the house, the
pups, my bed, etc. He goes, "Thanks fucker, you don't
miss me?" To which I called him a raging pussy. Then
the gay epithets ensued. I however win because I've
now made it a Random and you can all giggle at him.
Ugh. Unlike Alom, he always wants to cuddle
with me after sex. What a homo.
:-)
4) Love, Italian
style
Speaking of the
wonder of gay love... I got straight-up molested
at the airport in Venice. Guy was wandin' me at
security which in Italy apparently it means he felt
every single curve of my body in a way I'm not sure
even a woman has ever done. Like we were slow dancing
and I was the woman. I started to laugh 'cause I was
really wondering just how far he was gonna go. It
ended with a nice carress on my lower back and I was
on my way.
5) Tipping Makes a
Difference
I used to think
the countries where you're not supposed to tip were
kinda cool, because you didn't have to play that game
- you just knew how much it was and it took some grey
out of life. After the bad service I've received in
those countries however - I'm looking forward to home
where there's some incentive for the waitstaff to give
a shit. In Greece and Italy I actually did tip a
bit because it didn't say "gratuituy included" like it
did in Paris, but the service was laughable in most
places. Never getting your food, never getting your
check... just annoying. My last night in Rome I went
to a small little pub to watch the USA vs. Brazil
match and ordered some food. They brought me the wrong
thing, and then I watched 4 other tables get
served and finally said something. She said: "The
kitchen is really busy." I didn't have bread or
anything and I sat for nearly 45 minutes after the
first plate arrived (which she just put on the counter
within my view while I salivated over it). Never
an apology, a drink on the house... anything. It
finally came out cold. Then after I paid I
noticed she was going to throw out the original food
and I said: "Can I get that to go if you're
throwing it out anyway?" Longshot, but I figured
it was the least they could do after everything. She
packaged it up and then charged me for it. LMAO.
I laughed and just got up to leave and said I
wasn't going to pay - just thought it was a way to
make up for the service. To which she smiled, and
threw out the bag in front of me. HAAAAAAAAAAAA.
I have to admit. That was kind of a pimp move had
I been an asshole or seomthing. I wasn't, but
still - seeing that happen was pretty cool. The
inner-waiter in me cheered for her a bit, but again,
I wasn't a dick in the least - and the service
and food was horrible.
6)
FINALLY GOOD PIZZA
Man, I was
really getting concerned. The pizza I had was
alright, but nothin' better than I could get in
Manhattan. I dig all the crazy ingredients here
and the raw meat, so it wasn't that - it just wasn't
that good, ya know? And then I found this
place:
Can't believe I
didn't mention this in the last entry. It was on your
way to the vatican and I saw all these people sitting
on the curb around it (on little matts) and I figured
someone knows something, 'cause the place was packed.
It was up there with some of the best pizza I'd ever
had. They sold it by the gram and you kinda get
whatever is made at the time because shit moves FAST.
You wait in line forever, so you just kinda hope one
of the 7 pans of pizza are something you like - 'cause
there's no ordering off a menu here. I got 4
squares and sat down and after 2 pieces, I stood
in line to eat the rest so I could get 2 more. If
you're ever in Rome, when you get of fthe subway, it's
a couple blocks down to the left on your way towards
the Vatican. MMMMMMM.
7) Find the
Backstreets
Big tip for anyone
in Rome, or probably any big city - just go like a
block out of your way, to backstreets and you'll find
little grocery/convenience stores with the same bottle
of water or drink that are a 1/4 of the price as the
street. They just assume (quite correctly) you're
never gonna veer from the beaten path. Always veer.
You find the world off-the beaten path.
8) Rings Around
the World
I may not have
gotten the shirt, but one thing I made certain to
do was buy $10 silver rings in nearly every city
I went. Shall we have a look:
The thing is,
silver rings are silver rings. The one in Athens I
could've gotten in NY, but I know I got it there
so it makes all the difference. The one from Agistri
Island however was unlike anything I had seen so
I had to grab that up. Oh and the one from Paris
is a spinner. THOSE ARE FUN. But in general,
it's not like there's some drastic difference in
silver ring selection from one country to the next.
Damn look at how hairy my arms look. Lookin' down at
them now they don't seem as Robin Williams as they do
in the pic. Heh.
9) Perfect
Weather
I really can't
believe this, but other than one day in Paris (which
was actually kind of nice) it has never rained except
for days when I'm on a train or a plane traveling.
Isn't that... unbelieveable?
I mean,
once for 30 seconds in Nairobi. LOL. Even
when I was in London, nothing. I mean,
perfect. From Africa to France to Greece
to Italy... perfect. I was talking with
someone in Venice whose entire trip was
rain, simply because she went to the same
places I did... a few days after me.
So, so, so fortunate. It's funny - it
didn't even occur to me because that's how
weather is in LA. Wow, do you all hate me
yet? Jesus Adam, shut up.
10) Generation
Gap
Here's an anomally
- no tourists my age anywhere I went. Everyone's
either high school/college or much older. I just never
noticed anyone in their 30s. I really am an alien. No
one does this shit at 33. They have families,
responsibilities. Come to think of it - what am I
doing?!!? LOL. Having all this fun!?? Who am I to be
so reckless?
Adam fuggin K
bitches. HAAAAAAAA. Alright, this train is making me
loopy. Have to end this now.
