Okay... How strange is this? I don't know even half of you but you've all been so supportive of Adam and his creations that I feel indebted to all of you. I'm sorry it has taken so long to write this, but Starbucks has kept me very busy. They are trying to put me in to the management program after we come home from our wedding. so, I've been trying to kick ass to impress.

PALAUR - Many of you have asked Adam (or gave snide remarks :-) ) about "How Jess feels about it." well, I have to talk a little about "us" to explain how I feel...

Adam and I got together pretty darn quickly. we met at the end of September, were constantly together ever since even to the point of me moving in with him a month after I met him. It's something I never thought I would let myself rush into, but it never felt "rushed." Since all of that happened so quickly, there were some things that we had to learn about each other later. (Nothing BIG, mind you, all that had been discussed early, just the details.) Every time Adam mentioned something to me about his relationship with Laura, he would stop, shake his head and say. "you need to read my journal." I have to say I wasn't too interested in reading about his last love so early in our "new love", so it took me a while to get to it.

Well, one day (About 5 months into our relationship) I got off of work early and I had the whole afternoon to wait for Adam to get home from the radio station. I thought, "wouldn't Adam be surprised if I had the whole thing read when he came home!" (I, by no means, recommend doing this!!!! Take your time!) And I was pretty curious why I "had" to read it by now. So I read, and I read, and I read. Adam calls me when I'm about half way through it and I broke down and told him I was reading it. he kind of just said "oh.... well I'll let you get back to it." I read and I read and I read some more. Adam comes home and I'm bawling. He says "hi" and then goes to watch TV so I can finish. Four more hours later.... I'm done. I felt that someone had ripped out my stomach, hammered my head and stuck a volleyball in my throat. It hurt.

It didn't hurt because I was jealous, it hurt because it hurt him. I've been in so many of those, "I'm here to help YOU" relationships that I know how tiresome they can be. But to have put his ENTIRE life in her,...whew....it exhausts me to think about it now. I don't know how any of them lived through it.

Anyhow, you won't see many (if any) posted reactions from me on the site. I lived it before it was the creation that it is now. I didn't mean to write my own book here, I just wanted to let you all know that I AM okay with it! Oh and by the way, you can stop "reacting" that Adam deserves Laura, because THAT'S not true! :-) I like our ending better!