Entry #67
 
7:55 PM, Thursday, August 17th, 2000:
 
If you haven't heard Paul McCartney's "Flaming Pie", released 3 years ago, you are truly missing out. Some of the most beautiful songs he has ever written. And "Heaven on a Sunday" certainly described this past weekend for Jess and I. What a truly wonderful day. I'll give you a quick rundown of our little 10 day excursion:
 
-First our flight was delayed and they had to hold up the connecting flight in North Carolina for us. It was the SHIT. People waiting for us AS we got off the flight, threw us on those go-carts and sped us through the terminal. And as we boarded the plane they shut the door behind us. Now that's the way to make a connecting flight. We felt like major bad-asses.
 
-Our second day home we finally got rain...and for those of you in Columbus, I'm sure you remember it. Power was out all over the place, but Jess and I were in heaven. It's tough to describe not feeling or seeing rain or even storm clouds for 5 months. You DO miss it. We were in a cafe and prmoptly jumped out of our booth to run outside. Kick-ass.
 
-Getting the wedding license was real fun. "Wasn't I just here?" kind of pulsed through my veins for a bit. Certainly hadn't felt like 4 years ago. Here's the kicker: Could NOT remember my first wife Burgundie's maiden name for nothing. Ya see, she changed her name after the divorce to her MOTHER'S maiden name and it's REALLY close to her father's. Hell I stared out the window on the 23rd floor of the municipal court building for damn near 10 minutes. FINALLY remembered it. It's amazing what your mind will block out.
 
-Bachelor Party, Smachelor Party. Some friends and I played NFL Blitz and Mario Kart, and Goldeneye, and Dreamcast for hours. Didn't even get drunk. And I owe Marty Moose $5! Bastard. I still beat some major ass but Moose got me at the end. It was a fun night. Thanks again to Matt Rogish who so kindly...well screw that...thanks to Matt Rogish's mom who didn't mind a bunch of guys invading their house to drink beer, eat pizza, and play video games. I was too busy beating ASS to get too slap-happy. Oh well. Nothing like winning 16 straight on Mario Kart. Hell YEEAH. And Gabe, eat shit. Mr. "I think I can take you at NFL Blitz" 72-20. LOL.
 
-FAMILY REUNION! Big ass family reunion on Saturday night. First one of all the Kontras's in 20 years. How crazy it was to see people running around with your last name. The kicker was, you're sitting there checking everyone out... "Hey, she's hot...ALRIGHTY her last name is Kontras...oops" You can just hear the Jeff Foxworthy joke now: "If you go to a family reunion to scope the babes, you might be a redneck..." What a strange feeling. Especially with a name like Kontras. It's a pretty small worldwide group of us. Anyway, the night was awesome. Can't wait to edit the video.
 
-Of course the following morning was the wedding. No nerves whatsoever on my part until I looked at my watch and realized the priest wasn't there at 11:20 (service started at 11:30). 11:26 he comes strolling in. "Ya had me nervous there man..." "Oh these things never start on time..." (Not when YOU'RE doing them...lol). The ceremony started off with "Somebody's Getting Married" from the Muppets Take Manhatten. Classic. I highly suggest playing it. Very fun. The ceremony was wonderful. Weather cooperated beautifully, which is a big deal in Columbus. The end of the ceremony definitely stole the show. He forgot to tell us to kiss. He introduced us as Mr. and Mrs. Adam Kontras and sent us on her way and then stopped us. It was very comical. And on video too!! Check out this beautiful link...
YouTube link added 01.29.09
 
-The reception was amazing as well. We had both events at the River Club. The wedding outside, and the reception inside. This has to be the most amazing view of Downtown Columbus I have ever seen. You gotta check it out some time. Incredible. And the food was amazing. We had a ig brunch buffet spread with eggs and sausage and waffles right next to the chickent and raost beef. Highly cool. The champagne as well kicked ass. Unexpected though. Ya see, they had a free flowing champagne fountain. You just put your glass under the fountain and fillerup. Well Adam, assumed that this meant it was shitty champagne. Nope. Pretty good, and pretty strong. Now lemme tell you what I remember. I remember having 3 glasses with brunch. All was right with the world. Had our first round of food and went to talk to every table. I grabbed one more glass as I talked. Still charming polite and holding the video camera quite well. Then there was an earthquake for about 4 1/2 hours. I guess I have my two best men to thank for this, as somehow my glass was always full, but suffice to say Jess lost count at 13 glasses. Adam can't drink 2 beers without falling over. I held my own pretty good I must say. You could tell I was a bit "giggly" but I wasn't sloshing. Near the end of the reception we did the hokey-pokey and that just about killed me. My dance was quite different then everyone elses:
 
"I put my head in, I kept my head in, I kept my head in, and I kept it in some more, they all did the hokey pokey and they turned themselves around, and I kept my head right there..."
 
Then as we were closing shop it all hit me. Yet, I still have flashes of what I saw. And MOOSE you wanker. I remember him pouring even more champagne in my glass. So I will say now up front to everyone: "All apologies for any word or action I may have befallen on you" Most of you were gone by the time I got STOOOPID, but to those of you who were still around, I am sorry. Thank you to Heather and Tony for helping me back to my room, getting Jess and I a NEW room when I proceeded to ruin the first one (I ate more than I thought) - and thank the sweet LORD for allowing me to only sleep for about an hour and then feel fine. If I had ruined THAT night for Jess...I'd feel horrible. As it was I got up took a shower, we redressed in all our garb and drove to DONATOS for some pizza. How cool is that. We ended up staying up until 4 AM and this one time, I swear we went for at least...oooh, nevermind. Heh heh.
 
-The rest of the trip was a whirlwind of seeing friends and family and going nuts trying to find some money that ended up being stolen from my wallet. Can you believe that? I had $50 in my wallet in my dressing room at the River Club. Well, ends up my dressing room is the COAT room and this worker walks in on me. He apologizes, but when I look in my wallet the following morning, the $50 is gone. It completely sucks, and I'm extrememly angry, but there's just no way to prove it. Oh well. What can you do. I could've easily had more in there.
 
So there you go. An incredibly busy 10 days is over, and we must now readjust to LA Life. You'll be hearing rants about Hollywood Screentest I'm sure, and hopefully by the end of this month, we'll have sold Movie Minded to a few sites. For now I get to work on the next Spoof (X-MEN) and look forward to hearing from you all very soon.
 
Just Married,
 
Jess and Adam
 
original video file
 
 AUGUST 2000