Entry #36
 
11:14 AM, Sunday, April 2nd, 2000:
 
Although I have a SHITLOAD to catch you up on, I must take this entry to post your reactions to yesterday's email. They were classic. My other idea was going to be to buy a lottery ticket and say that we had won, and that everyone who replied got $200 and anyone who gave us money would get 3 times what they gave out...I think that would've been much more cruel. Before I get to the reactions let me first say that I warned my family before the letter. That just AIN'T funny to mom and pop especially since Burgundie's resignation from our marriage was about that shocking. So I ruined the joke for them, but I didn't have them disown me... Here's what you all thought:
 
nice email...you ass
-Matt
 
you suck
-Steve
 
You fucking cocksucker. So I'm sitting here reading this thinking she left because of Paular.com
and boy, I hope there's no weapons in the house. You suck monkey balls ass, sonofabitch.
Good one. Man, to think I bought that shit. I really felt bad for you, you fucker! BWA-HA-HA-HA!
oh, shit.Well, I'm glad everything's still cool. PHEW!
-Rich
 
Adam: YOU ARE A BASTARD!!!!!
-Michael
 
Dickhead.
-Brendan
 
Uh-huh.
You bastard. You got me hook, line, and sinker.
 
Of course, I got Beth earlier today, so I guess I deserved it. I told her
around 8:00 this morning we were going into town for the "big April First
Parade in Conneaut." She was lookng around for a bag to hold candy. After
the three of us went to breakfast, Beth asked me where the parade was, and
I said, "What parade, honey?" She said, "You know, the big April First Day
Parade!"
 
I got her good.
-Ron
(Now see, Beth is his 7 year old daughter. That's just CRUEL)
 
Adam dude, you had me going for the longest time... that was an excellent
April Fools though, you made it sound so serious, lol, that was funny dude.
Being a comedian, you can really get people like that, excellent work my
friend, it worked on me!
-EvryThgKlr
 
You're dead...and I was even thinking about the whole April Fools thing yesterday.
-Stephen
 
Adam Kontras...you are a bad, bad man! That was quite the little joke there...
I am certainly happy that it is April Fool's Day though.
-Erin
 
Adam, you sonofabitch, you got me good. Heh heh heh. Nice one...
-Dylan
 
Adam, you are a sick bastard for writing an entire email.. about Jessica
leaving you and your life falling apart.. with it being an entire joke.
Congrats! You had me fooled :) I'm impressed!
-Jim
 
Hey Adam:
Damn you and the horse you rode in on. Not funny, man. Not funny at all.
I was in tears before I got to the April fools part. That's mean. :-)
-Mickey
 
Never thought about it being the first... You got me, and you got me good...
-Eric
 
Real cute Adam.
You have too much time on your hands (haha!!!)
I was feeling sorry for you when I started reading your E-mail.
Well, April Fool's Day is almost over and you're the only
one who "fooled" me.!!!!!!!
-Lara
 
you got me with that april fools note, i was on my way out and only read
the first few lines, it wasn't until i got home that i got to the end!
-Bryan
 
You suck and I curse your name...
-Michelle
 
good one !!!!!!
but truly, i was half ass thinking....'yeah, maybe adam will go back to
cd101 and give us columbus' first decent morning show'
selfish, i know.
-Sparky
 
I HATE YOU! The whole time I'm was reading that, I was thinking..."Man,
what can I say to him. He gave such good advice when me and jackass
broke up...how can I do the same?" I REALLY HATE YOU! Goober!!!
-Danielle
 
 
And then came the ultimate reaction. I couldn't have prayed for a better one. My friend John gets online to check his email as I am doing the same....and he instant messages me:
 
hookline: omg
(oh my god for the instant message handicapped readers)
hookline: just got your mail
Adam4tvs: mhmm
hookline: that sucks
Adam4tvs: yeah
hookline: well if not meant to be, but still sucks
Adam4tvs: completely
hookline: big surprise here wow
Adam4tvs: that's what everyone's been saying
(I'm REALLY laughing at this point)
hookline: hang in there
Adam4tvs: no choice
hookline: did she give u any hint ahead of time
Adam4tvs: not really
hookline: man that is the pits
hookline: any thing you can tell me or too personal
Adam4tvs: it's all in the email pretty much
Adam4tvs: at the end
(crying, I'm crying now)
hookline: okay
hookline: well if you want to talk we can go to hear me later
Adam4tvs: k
hookline: see ya soon
Adam4tvs: DUDE
Adam4tvs: will you read the end of the email
hookline: abspuletely
hookline: fucker
Adam4tvs: you have the attention span of a 4 year old
hookline: eat my dick
hookline: I'm a busy man
Adam4tvs: I can't BELEIVE you weren't gonna read the whole thing
Adam4tvs: LOL
hookline: fucker
hookline: I hope you get laryngitious at gig
hookline: I hope your dick falls off
Adam4tvs: heh heh
Adam4tvs: yeah...i warned family...but thought it'd be fun to watch the rest of you
hookline: OOhhh you`ll pay
Adam4tvs: :-)
hookline: see ya later
Adam4tvs: later
 
JESUS that's funny. Oh man. I still can't believe he wouldn't read the end! Oh, and that isn't his real name. He asked for it to be left out. LOL. Too bad 'cause you guys could've had some fun with him.
 
Anyway, there's some pretty big news to talk about tomorrow and needless to say I'm not COMPLETELY thrilled about it, but it's way too much to get into now. Expect a BIG ASS entry #37 tomorrow. For now, here's a video of last night's performance: VIDEO
YouTube link added 02.13.09
 
Love to my borthas and sistas!
 
Adam & JESSICA...lol
 
original video file
 
APRIL 2000