Completely in limbo, completely in
shock, and completely zoning....I sat down at my
piano ten days later and started to sing. I was so
mad, and so confused, and so embarrased and so
passionate about what had just happened. It was
completely surreal, and amazingly difficult to
comprehend. On top of all that, I couldn't tell
anyone. Of course my fiancee knew, my father knew, and
my best friend knew...but that was it. It's bad enough
to lose your career, but to lose your voice is the
worst thing that could happen to me. I thrive on being
able to get things off my chest. I try to be as open
as humanly possible so people KNOW me, and there
are never character questions. Yet now my character
was more in question than ever, and I had to
endure everyone I knew telling me how BRAVE I was
to move out west. The truth of the matter was I
was running. Running, running, running. I had
threatened Las Vegas/LA before but now I had no
choice. I was scared out of my mind. A tiny bit
excited, but truly just scared.
That's the story of "Ordinary
Joe". Quickly surpassing "Sleep, Baby Sleep" as my
favorite song that I've written. As you may guess,
envoking emotion is the goal of avery song
I write. That's what I loved about
"Hearing
My Thoughts", you felt the
emotion I wished to convey. So often I hear
other people's songs, and I just don't relate.
Hopefully you don't feel that way about my songs. I'm
ever-concious of it.
The evolution of the song was
pretty covered. I finished it in that day,
November 20th, 1999. On January 14th, I posted 2
verses on my site. It made absolutely no sense to
abyone, but I needed to get it out. I needed
the people involved to hear my feelings. Then on April
23rd I announced that I was fired. Couldn't
handle it anymore. I was at my lowest point, and
people were actually trying to cheer me up with emails
like: "But at least you CHOSE to go out there and do
this...." Yeah, well I didn't even have that. And it
was looking like we weren't gonna be able to stay.
I released absolutley no specifics, but that I
was fired. I wanted to release the full version
of Ordinary Joe, but thought it was better to wait.
And of course what better time than the one year
anniversary.
So now, I'm throwing a
3
minute video at
you of the finished "Ordinary Joe" song,
with some cool little inverted graphics.
YOU MUST RIGHT CLICK THIS
LINK AND "SAVE TARGET AS" in
order to see this correctly. If you simply
"click" it, it will try to STREAM live to
your computer, and most connections will
not be able to handle it. So again, you
want to download it to your hard drive,
and then play it from there. Unfortunately
the piano is a bit drowned out, but the
lyrics are what truly count.
YouTube
link added
02.13.09
And here are those:
Ordinary Joe
A. Kontras
Ordinary Joe, didn't you
know...
That it was yours to have,
you didn't need to steal it away...
Ordinary Joe, you went too
low.
You could've come to me, and
not have lost the respect I have for
you...
And I do, or I did
before...
I know that you knew the
results in store for me and
you...
Ordinary Joe, you're all
alone...
You could've had someone who
trusted you, but i guess that doesn't
pay...
Ordinary Joe, GOD don't
you know?
That there is no one there,
who'll ever trust, your ass with
anything...
And they do, or they did
before,
I know that you knew the
results in store for me and
you...
I offered you
part of my pay to make the dream go our
way...
And now I'm headed
west!
You could've just come
to me, I'd have confessed
everything,
But NOW you are
the BEST! Around...
and nothing's ever
gonna bring you down...
you're the best
around, and no one's ever gonna bring you
down.
So Ordinary Joe, there you
go...
You got exactly what you
wanted from the scenerio that
played...
Ordinary Joe, you'll never
know...
What you let slip away to
further you, I'd hate to wear your
shoes...
Though I did, now
they're yours to have...
I know what I did,
do you know what you had to lose?
You chose to
choose...
Let me also say to
you. I'm really not THAT mad. I was
very upset a year ago. Now I just really like the
song. When it all comes down to it, we are both better
off. I honest to GOD am still amazed you didn't just
talk to me. Did you think I was kidding about giving
you part of my salary? I cared about your well
being. I felt you deserved to be rewarded,
because you were (and still are) extremely talented. I
am not saying I wish you ignored what I did. What
I did was wrong, and should've been brought to the the
attention of the higher ups at the station. But to not
give me the decency of at least SPEAKING to me about
your concerns, will forever hurt me and stick in my
mind as underhanded. Unfortunately I have to write
songs about it. I am sorry. I am sorry that you have
to live this a year later. I UNDERSTAND how hard
it was for you. I do not wish to keep this going
forever (you better pray this song never gets on radio
- LOL). Hopefully next time we run into each other we
can go get lunch and talk about this. Every time I've
been in town I have wanted to get in touch with you,
but once you were gone that day, once you were out to
lunch the whole time I was there, and the last
time was for my grandmother's funeral and I wasn't
able to see you. I DO still respect your talents and
you as a person. You are very honest, and
I completely respect that. I will promise you
that this is the last you hear of this entire event,
unless YOU personally wish to bring it back to a
head. I'll await an email on your feelings. Again,
I am really not that mad. My songs are from the
heart and from the MOMENT. Unfortunately it captures
that moment forever. If I were to write a song NOW, it
would indeed feel different.
So there you have it. I am done.
Other than me recording a fully-produced studio
version of "Ordinary Joe", I am completely done.
I have nothing more to say. I hold CD101 and
it's employees close to my heart, and hope and pray
for their continued success. Quite a difference than
my feelings for WTVN if you remember. Darryl
Parks is still one of the biggest pricks I have
ever come across. I feel absolutely
NO problem saying, that...spouting that, and
EXPLAINING why. The name in print makes me twinge
with anger. The most irresponsible Program Director
that has ever graced Columbus radio.
Anyway, stay tuned for the next
entry where you'll see an old friend sitting here in
LA with me, an update on The Boyles MP3 disc due
on 11.26.00, and I'll throw in my final 2 cents on the
election debacle. It is as clear to me as anything has
ever been. I am absolutely amazed that people
cannot look at this objectively and must follow like
puppies what their party tells them to think. That is
truly the saddest thing in all of this, the
brainwashing of America by the 2 party
system.